Buying Real EstateUncategorized March 9, 2017

Invitation to Discrimination: “Love Letters” and Fair Housing


The real estate market in Tacoma, the past couple of years especially, has been difficult for buyers. There are multiple offers, low inventory, and folks with cash, eliminating the seller’s need to accept an offer from buyer using traditional financing, which requires additional steps like an appraisal.

While representing a buyer, it is my duty to present clients with all of the strategic options at their disposal for competing in this sellers’ market, and to encourage them to take advantage of options that are available to them to enhance their offer, and hopefully beat the competing offers.

The conflict for me is, what about tactics that I think muddy the ethical waters in Real Estate?

“Love letters” are commonly found in the real estate world, especially in competitive markets, where houses are receiving multiple offers. The letters I have seen typically include a cute little bio about the buyer’s family, what they like about the house, and their plans moving forward after they’ve completed the purchase. Some even include pictures of the buyers.

If you are like me, you might start to question the ethical validity of something like this. Sure, for the heteronormative, cis couple with an adorable child and golden retriever, this sounds like a wonderful tactic. But what if you are a gay, childless couple? A single woman? What if you are a gender nonconforming person trying to compete for the same house?

I have had gay and straight couples write letters, and there are times where a seller has loved the letter and hasn’t discriminated against my clients. However, I have had letters put my clients at a disadvantage as well.

I have seen my buyers lose in a competitive situation because the seller preferred a family move in rather than a single lady. This does happen. My question is how is this allowed?

I agree that as long as this is legal, we shouldn’t tell our buyers that they cant submit a letter to a seller. I have had clients write up some well thought out letters, focusing on the house and their plans, more than their personality and marital status. I have had clients submit the cute family photo, with no malice or ill will intended. I just can’t help but think of my clients who are scared that the seller won’t want to cooperate with them if they find out their identity. I have had gay clients worried about the seller being at the inspection and not liking that they are LGBTQ. There are concerns that some have to carry that others do not.

Some people may argue that the seller can’t break a contract because of these things, but they sure can make it difficult and discourage a smooth transaction; for example, not cooperating on needed repairs, or not allowing an extension of the closing date because of appraisal issues. 

In some circumstances, a letter can backfire. What if the buyer writes about how much they love animals, and how they are looking forward to moving in with their three kitties, and the seller doesn’t like cats? Sometimes these details can be more detrimental than beneficial to the buyer’s competitiveness.

I don’t think people who write letters are doing a bad thing. I do however think that the letters inherently encourage bias, prejudices and favoritism based on factors that dance on the line of ethics in fair housing.